If you read this would you want to read more (the whole story)?

I like the suspense and detail with which you describe the environment and situation. One area for improvement would be making your sentences less short and choppy. It would be better if you varied your sentence length and complexity and used bigger words showing that you have knowledge of a richer vocabulary. Also, don't focus on one topic too much like the mud. Try to explain other things about what you: felt, heard, smelled, tasted, and saw. Otherwise, I thought that it drew in readers well to your story. I would certainly want to read more.