I think I am confused about this?

sounds not too different from me when i was that age (except no internet back then so no gay access). i "experimented" with men when i was 17/18 and again when i was 22, but it took until i was 31 to fully accept it, even though my earliest fantasies when masturbating involved men (i got good at masturbating while thinking about nothing). i've had a few girlfriends, and l is just fine, but i'm so not into women (i'm also trans, to clear things up). actually, loosing my virginity at 19 that way convinced me i was straight because it felt good (even though i thought her was nasty and always washed the sheets afterwards). heck, a pillow feels good, as well, but i don't have pillowphilia or anything! the doesn't care so much -- the rest of me does.